Life without social media

The first time I seriously considered deleting my social media accounts was in late 2019, when I read Cal Newport’s book, Digital Minimalism.

I realised social media was a very shallow way of staying “connected” with friends. It was also a very easy way to waste my evenings after work, endlessly scrolling through Instagram or Facebook.

But it was another perspective which made me consider it more seriously: focus. Social media, along with its ubiquity achieved by the development of smartphones, kills focus and our ability to do “deep work”. On my way to work, if I ever felt bored, I would immediately interrupt my train (pun intended) of thought with a social media app. I wondered if this was what I wanted, and for me, the answer was “no”.

So I knew I wanted to stop using social media, but I just couldn’t. I had already naturally reduced my usage of social media because of other lifestyle and belief changes, yet I felt uneasy about deleting my accounts.

Finally another negative aspect of social media caught my attention: digital privacy.

We willingly share crazy amounts of personal information online. I know I did with Facebook, especially when I first joined, circa 2010, when I was naive about who I was giving my information to (not only Facebook, but third party developers of the random games I played). I had left a trail of thoughts, beliefs and personal data which I never realised I consented to.

That, and the fact that I had acquired over 1000 “friends”, most of which I did not know in person, and with whom I could not possibly maintain high quality relationships. Who was reading my posts? How many of these people have had their accounts hacked or otherwise compromised, who now are able to access my most personal moments and thoughts?

The deletion process

Low-usage accounts were first to go. Twitter was the easiest. I only used it to contact airlines because it was usually faster and more responsive than calling, but I had committed, and I needed to feel okay with “missing out” on some benefit from social media at the expense of many downsides.

Instagram was next.

This was a bigger one, emotionally and technically. I had my Instagram for a while, but actually almost never posted on it nor used it to communicate with friends. I created an export of my data, then deleted the account. The deletion process was surprisingly simple and quick.

The final one was Facebook, my oldest (almost 10 year old) social media account.

Recently I had only really used Facebook to remind me of people’s birthdays or to communicate with friends via Messenger. I now use a calendar app and WhatsApp. My data export took a while to process, but once I had it, it was all I really needed: an HTML page which allowed me to view all my photos, posts, friends and Messenger conversations.

First impressions

It’s been about two months without social media, and overall it’s been amazing. I’ve learned a few things too.

It’s reversible

Social media will always be there for me. If I decide this alternative no-social-media approach isn’t for me, I can always go back. I exported all of my connections and followers anyways, so I know where to find people.

Time is precious

Boredom breeds creativity. Can’t flick through Instagram on public transport? Think about your friendships and relationships, or how you can be a better person. No feed to read after work? Start a new project, learn a new skill, or read higher quality content.

A couple of things I’ve done with my extra free time include reading more, calling friends and family more often and writing more on this blog.

There are drawbacks

Even though calling or physically spending time with friends is much better than social media “bonding”, there’s still a part of me which thinks that some of my friendships would be kept more up to date if I saw their social media posts more often. Luckily, my wife still uses social media, and she let’s me in on the most important updates.

It’s also harder to share stuff. I shared a link to this blog on my LinkedIn. It got a few likes. It’s nothing like sharing on Facebook or Twitter. But I’m okay with that. I probably rather have my closest friends reading this than random people on the internet. I’m okay with growing an audience organically; that way I have time to develop and improve my writing too.

Closing thoughts

Overall, I’m happy with my decision. I’ll see what the coming months bring, and see if I stick with it. So far, I see no going back. I feel great. But I’ve said that about other things before, so I won’t be naive in thinking my decision is final.

But for now, bye bye social media.

[2025 update]

I ran the no-social-media experiment for 2 full years. It was 100% worth it. It fundamentally improved the way I spend my time.

Unfortunately some things are made much easier by some social media use, so I decided to partially and carefully reintroduce social media with restrictions.

I re-created an Instagram account in 2022 to be able to contact and connect with restaurants I wanted to visit (often the only way to see their menus). I don’t follow accounts, and don’t really post.

I later re-created a Facebook account to sell things in Marketplace, to access some Facebook pages in my local area that had no other online presence, and to message some friends who don’t have WhatsApp.

A good balance I’ve found is to not have the apps installed on my smartphone. I only check these accounts on my computer, occasionally and intentionally when I need to do something specific.